Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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