Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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