sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
