fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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