I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
