is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
