Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
