I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
