i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
