Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
