I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize