Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
