We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
