Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
