based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
