White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
