It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
They took my balls.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
