I am in a vortex of obligation.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
