Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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