I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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