I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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