You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
