Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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