i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize