I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
