I wanna bring you to show and tell
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
