so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My pussy is not your playground.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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