is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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