So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
