he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
