He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
