I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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