She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
