wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
