I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just took my morning after pill in the library
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
