What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
