I have demons in me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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