I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
