Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
