I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
