Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize