I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
