I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
