Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
All I want is dick and wine.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
