The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
