haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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