I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Brb crying the tears of my youth
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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