do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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