If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
