you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
