dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
