You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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