Im at strip club and am horny
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
