Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
