Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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