nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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