She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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