hotel room ftw
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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