Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
