I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
