I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
