Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
